A history of violence? - from pacifism to judgement to forgiveness

Why are we predisposed to violence? Is it because there is nothing wrong with the protective, extreme urges of the human spirit but that we are rarely able to separate this honourable instinct from our personal aggression and from contamination with other things we feel, our violent urges are far from pure and righteous.

I am a pacficist by choice. I do not believe the violence ever solves anything with any lasting solution that long hard slog through non-violent means will not do better. I am also a pacificist because I do not believe that my violence is pure and honest nor am I able to dispense it without wrong intentions. I am a pacifist because I am violent by nature, this was comedically displayed once as my little sisters were fighting eachother and I raised my hand to them and said 'Don't resort to violence!'... they stopped fighting and looked at me, my hand still raised and then we burst into hysterics at the hypocrisy of my words and actions, the lack of integration between what I was saying and what I was doing - perhaps the practical definition of hypocrisy, which I am pretty good at sadly. A work in progress.

I remember being in a seminar when I was studying for my Masters in Humanitarianism (among other things) and being surprised then mortified that I was the only one in a class of 30+ professional humanitarians that raised their hands to declare pacifism. Maybe you are not surprised and I was naive. These people had seen conflict first hand, had perhaps decided not to feed genocidaires in favour of refugees, they had been in Chechnya, Rwanda, Sudan, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Congo the list goes on. Maybe they had seen that the only way to stop a genocidaire from raping the women in the camp was to turn a blind eye when militia shot him. I don't know and I admit that I was naive to the practicalities and trade offs that we are faced with in such situations. And when pushed on the subject by the tutor - he asked question after question until I finally blurted out - 'It's because I am violent by nature and I have to put structures in place to check that on several levels before I step into violence which I easily could.' My pacifism I suppose is like a safety catch. I live with my safety catch on, I endeavour to know myself and how I will react and mitigate, which is in fact impossible to do for you cannot anticipate every situation nor how it will make you, me, react. It is good to know thyself, as Polonius said, and the unexamined life is indeed not worth living as Nietzsche said, but there is always more to learn about oneself.

The wider observation on this point is that we are violent us humans, look at what we are doing across the world and have always done. If we listened to or sang thrash metal songs and did exercise with punch bags I sincerely believe we would have alot less pent up aggression to carry out on a micro scale but that will not stop the violent urges that arise when those we love are threatened. In fact it is so normal to us humans that we are mortified when someone reacts without aggression and desire for violence when someone they love is threatened - that is the abnormal reaction. And you know what, rightful anger (righteous anger) is not wrong, the desire to serve justice on wrong doing is wholly right. The desire for judgement upon those who do wrong is wholly right. Dispensing it justly is the hard thing. And if it is not for you to dispense or within your power to do so how do you deal with that injustice, the violent reaction that it provokes - the cycle of violence that it perpetuates?

Some of the most admirable people in the world to me are those who have been disturbed and affected by violence done to them or in situations they were in somehow, and who have every right and every circumstance to perpetuate that hate and violence they have experienced and choose not to. They choose to follow (and struggle to follow) a different path which breaks the cycle. This is the narrow path, the road less travelled, the one that few people find.

Do you have to let justice go? Do you have to forgive them? How do you do either of those things?