Aerial bombardments

For the last two mornings in a row I have slept in my bunker (its really just a basement but in this place they are invariably turned into bunkers, filled with bottled water and ration packs), wise though that has been for other reasons it was really to be in a cooler place as the temperatures rise here.

However down there you can still hear the helicopter gunships and bomber jets fly over in the dark hours of the morning and perhaps even more clearly the subsequent thuds which vibrate through your pillow as they drop their bombs on the neighbouring districts and it's insurgents, which will inevitably hit civilians also. That is the nature of war. How did we get here? How is it that I am still here? I never thought I would be in a place when air strikes were being carried out so close. I lay there the first morning and noted to myself that they were off to kill humans, be they insurgents or civilians they are all humans, like you or I. Hard to think that perhaps when you are looking at a computer screen in your aircraft and pressing a button.

I'm really not sure what to think, other than its good that non-essential staff have been relocated until things calm down. How do I feel about the fact that I am essential staff and therefore to not relocate but stay in this and watch, monitoring and assessing? At first it was a bit exhilarating, having to work through all the extremes and emergency procedures of what needs to be done in preparation and what would need to be done in an emergency exit, but after the first few days of that, and of different people's emotions about it - some loving the proximity to world history, others thinking we are crazy and it should never become normal to wake up to bombardments, others trusting in God and staying, still others trusting in God or no-one and leaving - after the first days of this mix the excitement wears off, has well and truly worn off. I've done what I need to do, I've stayed to watch it boil, I have a legitmate break coming up and I am glad to be out in a few days time. I have no need or desire to stay and say I stayed through all that. I will pray for the safety of those I know in my absence as I leave for a few weeks and know that whether I am there/here or not will make little difference. There are things worth dying for in life, certainly, but there are few things worth getting so stressed out for and this is not a live or die situation. It's disturbing to wake up to bomb vibrations through your pillow and I am pleased to be putting my head on a pillow on another continent for a while.